It's time to grow up
It's time to grow up. I don't know why, but it's time to grow up. My friend's mother just died and he's in shambles. This guy was mad gangstaz, you know what i'm saying? He was all tight in his hood and playing like niggas but now it aint the same ride, you feel me?
Practically half the things I've ever done and said were done to keep things "in check" but they were never true.
I just wanna scream.
All the gaming, all the mindless activities. All the wasting time, has go to stop. Mom and dad, I swear i don't give a shit anymore between you two. Don't tell me your problems with your parents and your problems with each other.
Next year in 3rd year it will be different. No longer any gaming or wasting time or "trying to study." I'm going to study my stuff, and I'm going to church every Sunday and read everyday. ACF is NOT an option during exams and neither is lending a helping hand. I'm no longer going to have any "incentive" to do anything. It will be done because I care, because she is a "sister," because it's the "human" thing to do. MCAT's will be studied and I will be be able to teach the material by January!!
DAMN IT i wanna grow up.....maybe i just want to scream.
Yesterday was ... just makes me smile on the inside. It's so calming to be around people like you guys (you know who you are), practically live for your friends, and so into your own world. Feels like im the father patting the head of my little 12 year old daughter whose learning to make her way in the world. At the same time, feels like im the 5 year old son whose too huggy attched to mommy to let go. It's time to grow up.
*tear*... I love you guys.
Practically half the things I've ever done and said were done to keep things "in check" but they were never true.
I just wanna scream.
All the gaming, all the mindless activities. All the wasting time, has go to stop. Mom and dad, I swear i don't give a shit anymore between you two. Don't tell me your problems with your parents and your problems with each other.
Next year in 3rd year it will be different. No longer any gaming or wasting time or "trying to study." I'm going to study my stuff, and I'm going to church every Sunday and read everyday. ACF is NOT an option during exams and neither is lending a helping hand. I'm no longer going to have any "incentive" to do anything. It will be done because I care, because she is a "sister," because it's the "human" thing to do. MCAT's will be studied and I will be be able to teach the material by January!!
DAMN IT i wanna grow up.....maybe i just want to scream.
Yesterday was ... just makes me smile on the inside. It's so calming to be around people like you guys (you know who you are), practically live for your friends, and so into your own world. Feels like im the father patting the head of my little 12 year old daughter whose learning to make her way in the world. At the same time, feels like im the 5 year old son whose too huggy attched to mommy to let go. It's time to grow up.
*tear*... I love you guys.
posted by Simon at 7:07 AM
1 Comments:
i think it might be okay to scream.. just so long as it's not at someone.. =)
I don't think you can just decide to grow up.. although I admit, sometimes it happens out of necessity - but maturity is a part of aging too, I think: it takes time.
I'm glad you want to step up your game and step up your walk w/ the Lord - I highly approve, of course ;D
just.. be careful with your heart..
this may sound weird, but the promises we make to ourselves, to keep ourselves safe, to fit-in b/c we believe it needs to be done a certain way, or sometimes just to survive; they can be more detrimental than good.
I'm not saying you shouldn't step up, since I believe you will both be a blessing, and be blessed mightily to and from others; but do not harden your heart to joy, and love, and peace.
I just don't want you to get so caught up in 'duty' and 'doing the right thing', that it becomes a chore, and dull to your heart and mind. Like how the Israelites took the commandments of God to a whole other level, where they made up more laws and rules than any normal person could follow - and made the following of God something more complex and burdensome on themselves than was required...
Jesus is full of beauty and grace, joy and love, but also discipline and strength, and always ready to do the will of God.
haha well I don't know if you really needed me to post all that - but do take care. Keep on hard after Him.
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