Just a little unsure

A lot of the time we strive for things that we want and like. Of course, when we grow older, or I guess it's better to say, as we grow older, we learn, from hindsite, that the things we strived for in the past are all but "just the things we wanted at the itme." So, right now, at the age of 20, all of us young adults want to get married, have a good education to get a good job, and we aspire to grow, learn, mature and enhance ourselves, our lives, our experiences, and do this with the people around us, our family, our friends.

But, suppose we are 80, and we are at the ripe old age to die. Life is done, and we've made our mark on the things that matter, the people that matter.

So on our death bed, what would we say? What would we look back at? Do we look at all the things we accomplished? All the maturation we learn? All the work we've carved into the ground?

I don't know haha. It's hard to tell since, as with many things, to each their own. But! As it stands with my parents, my mother has this innate desire to grow and enhance herself while my father yearns to enjoy life as it is.

So I asked my mom, "What is it that you strive for in life? On your death bed, what will you think about? Is it all the things you've accomplished? All the money you've acquired through the knowledge you've learned? All the people you've helped? Or the people you just happen to share a laugh, a hug, or a smile with?"

Well my mother could not answer. But she said, the thing that amkes her happy in her life is the "Continuing to mature and always keep moving, keep growing," idea. Personally this is crap.

I agree but disagree at the same time. Yes, many things are beyond these walls of residence, Western, and the people here. But many more things are stuck in the PEOPLE, damn it, the people we meet here, and USING our maturity, USING our knowledge, to teach, to help these people and put that damn smile on their face... wow what a great world this would be. Mother dear, simply acquiring maturity is, in itself, immature. It's not like you use any of your maturity to help those closest to you. You are the worst.


Yes, it's true. So many of the guys and girls I met here in Western are nothing like the people of highschool. Ya ok, the standard of maturity, of knowledge, of understanding and appreciation of this world are so lacking... so undeveloped, it makes me sadly question how parents raise their kids.


BUT! HAHAHA! See, aside from all this crud, I'm just one man, just one person in this world of six billion, and like everyone, I have my own stories, and am insignificant in relation to anything of this world, or heaven. Thus, I feel, aside from my job to help my parents, and one day make my sister learn to care about our family, it's also my responibility to make em laugh heavy bellied from the bottom of their toes to the tip of their top hats.

I wish i could make people.... hehe laugh like they do on Friends, haha laugh like they do on Whose Line is it Anyway, and HAHA laugh like the way we are when our group of friends share an inside joke. I could live and die happy if I could make everyone enter and leave with a smile.

Mom and dad, I will continue to help you, I am your son afterall. I hope that one day I can make you two laugh together, either at me, or at olivia...*tear* maybe even for the first time ever, in the 20 years of my life... just *grimmace*.. Damn it, to hold hands, to make jokes, to laugh at and with each other. Damn it...

But...For now, I'll continue to do my labs, continue to read my books, and learn from my proffs. Continue to pray to God.

I love you guys...

Simon